Relationships, reconciliation, healing

  WEDNESDAY, JULY 14, 2021 - RELATIONSHIPS / RECONCILIATION First a qualification.  Reconciliation with a family member or with a friend requires that both of you reconcile.  It might be that you really want to “kiss and make-up” with the other person, but that other person might not want to reconcile with you.  My personal bias is that if you extend your hand in friendship and seek reconciliation, it might not come quickly, but some day (it might be years), it will happen - but the other person has to drop their grudge against you and be willing to forgive and forget. This story comes from a few years back.  A friend had gotten divorced and he wanted to restore a relationship with a couple he knew from his church (after all, Christians are to “love one another”, and the first summary of the law is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself (or love your friend as yourself). ...

  TUESDAY, JULY 13, 2021 - RELATIONSHIPS - CONTINUED Yesterday, I started a series on relationships - and especially on broken relationships.  From my (very) informal viewpoint, it seems like most people have somebody where the relationship is broken. Now, friendships do get broken.  For example, my sister and brother-in-law just moved to the Phoenix Arizona area.  There many friends (from 30 years in Grand Rapids Michigan) will miss them.  My sister (who is so much more gregarious than I am) will email and call and keep in touch with some of her old friends - but eventually, out-of-sight, out-of-mind.  And, they will be making new friends in Phoenix!!   But these are friendships - not the deep, meaningful relationships.  Those deep relationships, when broken, can cause heartache and angst.  And, when the relationships are within a family group, the breaks can be almost devastating.   Sometimes the barriers are deep. ...

  MONDAY, JULY 12, 2021 Relationships I This week I’m going to tackle a tough question - relationships.  As my coaching business is growing, I need to educate myself on relationships.  I really want to work on estranged relationships.   I know too many people whose family has separated, who haven’t talked to a parent - or a brother - or a sister - or a child - or grandchild because of being ‘estranged’.   Let’s start with an example.  Example 1:  My friend John never knew his paternal grandfather (or so he thought).  As he was a toddler, an older gentleman came to their house and his dad and the gentleman went into the dining room and had a cup of coffee together.  His mother told the children not to interrupt their time together.  Maybe an hour later, the older man left, although as they went to the door, his dad pointed out the family to him - “That’s Michael, the oldest, he is in fifth grade, then Shirley, in second grade”, ...